Why?

I know it has been a while, but I just have to say something that is driving me absolutely insane.

Last night, while talking with one of my neighbors, she told me that they (whoever "they" is in those stories always eludes me) found evidence of mermaids while investigating all those beached whales last year (How on earth did I miss that?). She said that there was some sort of ultrasonic sound wave frequency that whales can hear and it crushed their insides and the mermaids. We can't hear it, but other animals can. They found bodies that were part-human, part-fish. A human skeletal structure all the way to the pelvic bone, but a fin past that. They did DNA tests and all sorts of confirmation examinations, but the government seized it all. I'm willing to believe that there are some pretty freaky creatures living in the depths of the oceans. After all, the oceans are the only part of our world left that is majorly unexplored. I'm even willing to believe there are mermaids. But there are too many discrepancies in the evolution. My neighbor told me that the mermaids' skeletal structure was similar to that of humans. Humans cannot withstand the high pressures at the depth of the oceans. Yes, skeletons can strengthen over periods of time. The DNA could have evolved to code for stronger bones. One problem solved.

But that's not all. These mermaids are mammals, meaning that they have a blowhole. According to my neighbor, among the mammals, humans can hold their breath for the longest. I know that's not a fact. Otters, platypi, dolphins, whales, manatees, beavers, capybaras, hippopotomi, I could go on for longer, but those are all the ones I know. Those are all underwater mammals who are underwater for a lot of their lives. We just happen to have a lung capacity that allows for a maximum of five minutes of air with training. Who trains an otter to breathe underwater for that long? No one. They likely have a greater lung capacity. If mermaids live that far under the water, it would take too long to come up to the surface for air. Think about Finding Nemo. It took Marlin and Dory about half the movie to encounter the angler fish (that's the fish with the light- "I'm gonna get cha. I'm gonna be your best friend...", you know?), and the ocean is way deeper than that, with a lot of fish as you go down. For example, the angler fish typically lives at a depth of about a mile down, in the benthic zone. There is a species called-I wouldn't try to pronounce if I were you-Saccopharyngiformes, or gulper eels, that can live as deep as 10,000 feet (or 3000 m for those of you who like metric, which I don't), and that's well into the aphotic zone, a zone I never learned about in earth science, and I took it three times. The ocean is deep: The deeper you go, the higher the pressure (both aquatic and biotic: All the things that will eat you!), the farther you have to go to get to the surface, the fewer plants, the less oxygen. Whales and dolphins don't live that deep in the ocean, making it easier for them to come up for air. A mermaid with a blowhole would either have to have access to an underwater oxygen vent, and I'm not sure those exist, have a set of gills so that they can survive without their blowhole, in which case why have a blowhole, or not exist. Also, we can see dolphins when they come up, whales too (how could we miss them?). So if mermaids do exist and come up for air, why haven't we seen them? Did we think they were dolphins? Do they only come up at night? Do they exist in a majorly unexplored part of the world? Warm water or cold water? There are a dozen questions

Also, we now have the issue of a food source. If these mermaids are herbivorous, then the food sources are sorely lacking. Not a lot of sunlight reaches the depths of the oceans, which is why there aren't a whole lot of plants. What if they're carnivorous, like most of the creatures down that far? Mostly plankton and bacteria live that far down, and a lot of them are likely anaerobic, meaning that they don't need air to create energy, which is why they're so small. But you don't want me to get in to that. I'll go on for even longer. There isn't much to eat down there. There are some fish who can survive in the dark (they don't even have eyes), but apparently these mermaids don't have eyes either. Do they have some sort of underwater sonar system that allows them to "see" their prey? Again, more questions.

With most species, these questions can be answered without much research by using simple logic and prior knowledge, even with sea creatures. But not with these mermaids. We haven't even gone in to reproduction, but that could take all day. This is why I very much doubt the existence of these mermaids. But my neighbor said I should research it, along with telekinesis, which I have yet to do, so I researched mermaids.

This was the first website I found: http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/mermaid-hoax-mermaids-the-new-evidence-special-sets-ratings-record-for-animal-planet--2013305

How reliable this article is, I don't know, but it said that it was a hoax. I started to read some of the comments, mostly because I was looking for a second page, and this is what I saw (Okay, now is where I get to my point. Read on, readers!)

"In other news, those same 3.6 Million viewers also voted for Obama the 2nd time."
"The mermaids voted for Mitt."
"HAHA Brian your an idiot like everybody else that voted for Obama"
"Seriously, a idiot that can not use you're and your correctly is calling someone else an idiot? Yeah, you are about Bush Speed. Full of BS."
"You should check your own grammar first. Some would say you're an idiot."
I am skipping one comment because it's just a correction.
"what does obama have to do with this ODIOT. this story of mermaids is FAKE!!"
"There be not such a thing as Obama and all dat. Obama be Mitt in black face. Da troof be out deere. " (I omitted a rude word.)
"the spelling at least, that*, the*, Truth*, there*"
"and of the 3.6 million viewers, republicans are the only ones that believed everything in the show was true"

And there are way more than that, all about politics. My spiel above was what I hoped for. Spelling errors such as those above were what I expected. Politics was not the anticipated topic. I am omitting the names because these people likely a.) do not read this blog, and if they do, hey, people, bad spelling reflects poorly on you, and b.) do not want their internet handles out there for the world to spam. 

I am a grammar-phile and a spelling-phile (The suffix "-phile" for those who do not know means "love", like "phobe" means "fear". They're opposites). Whenever I would get a spelling test in second grade, I used to find the misspelled words, laugh, and then spell it correctly. I stopped because I thought it might give away the answers. While the politics and mermaids causes me to shake my head in despair (Mermaids aren't registered to vote! They didn't vote for Obama or Mitt! They don't have TVs! They probably don't even know that there's a country here!), the atrocious spelling and grammar here disturbs me greatly. What in the name of all that is good and glorious is an "odiot"? Why are you people not using periods or capital letters? Is there something else taking up your time? Did these people take elementary school grammar, because there are 28 errors total in those comments alone, and I probably missed a few because I was caught up by the guy who said, "Da troof be out deere."

Hang on, 29 errors. Maybe...30?

What do politics and elections and "who voted for who" have to do with the possibility of a new species of sub-aquatic mammal? Why are you bringing it up? There was another string of comments which I decided not to type that were once again questioning Obama's native country. Do we really care? I would've been all for Arnold Schwarzenegger as president. I don't care who's in charge, so long as he/she/it (just in case an alien decides to run) keeps the child labor laws in effect and keeps us all from starving, dying in a mass extermination, or turning into the Cybermen/Daleks. I think theoretical communism isn't half bad. Theoretical, not practical. Just to clarify that. Don't twist my words, please. I may have opinions and I would be happy to voice them if asked the right questions, but once a decision has been made, it's out of our hands and it's no good complaining about it. Unless you do it right, you're just going to be a human rooster: Loud, annoying, and after a while everyone will get tired of you.

Why, people? Why do you feel the need to bring politics into everything? Why?