"No, you look Time Lord." That's one of my favorite Doctor Who quotes. And it seems to apply to me the most. I'm Autistic. I haven't said that yet. I haven't said anything yet, but I digress. People befuddle me. Some have told me that they have a learning disability, and that's why their grades are so low, and I say, "Yeah, so do I." I'm open about my Autism. Why shouldn't I be? I'm not embarrassed. Look at me, I'm a genius! My friends and the ever-constant complainers who are not my friends but seem to hang around anyway can't believe that Katie, the girl who knows everything, has a learning disability. They're always surprised, but once I explain, they get it. At least my friends do. Teenagers have a very short attention span, have you ever noticed that?
What I can never figure out is why people were such good friends at one point in time, but once they get to high school, they act like they've been at war all their lives. I hesitate to talk about other people's problems, but for this particular befuddlement, I have to mention this. When I walked into my friendship with my best friend Gabby, I walked into a social war. No names from this point on.
So Girl A and Gabby were best friends in middle school. Gabby's said this before. But now Girl A is trying to separate our entire group, or at least she was during the first semester. Girl B, Girl C, Girl D, an I are sticking around, no questions asked. (I personally don't care if Gabby was Genghis Khan, she's nice to me, doesn't touch my stuff, and gets me. That's hard to find, believe me.) But I'm friends with both Girl A and everyone in my group. I have a lot of difficulty empathizing with people, so when someone I like and who likes me is upset, I offer moral support. So last night, I was having musical fun with Girl A. We're both singers, of course we know each other. But later in the night, Girl B was crying. Moral support time! Something Girl A did upset Girl B, I'm not even go to try to connect everything, I don't want to know, I don't need to know. But then it looked like Girl A was crying as well. I asked, "Are you crying, too?" She said no, and I said, "Oh, good, I don't want to have conflicting moral support." She understood what I meant, so there was nothing wrong there. But I can't side with both people.
And that's where my disability comes in. All that normal behavior you expect out of teenagers you will not find in me. So how am I supposed to know what to do with people? This is the biggest group of friends I've had since kindergarten. I suck at making friends. And it's really hard to get past all the nonstop cursing and "hella's", "finna's", the over-and-improper use of the word "drove" and "thick" (what does it even mean when you say "I'm too thick for this"?), and "I'm crackin' up", so I just can't get down to the deepest levels of social principles. Everything's just wrong to me. They look human, and so do I, but maybe I'm just a Time Lord. Wait a minute. *checks for the number of hearts* Nope, just a human. Darn.
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